why the hell people wear those sleep mask things. do you wanna be blind in your dream, idiot. what if you’re dreaming about driving a fast car with that mask on your face. get in an accident and have hell of dream insurance to pay
THIS PUNCH WAS SO SATISFYING SO I KEPT REWATCHING IT B UT THEN I PAUS ED AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME AND IM LA UGHIN SA FUCKIG HARD MY S TOMACH HU URTS
Hurns urf thure surthuren Urls
THAT IS THE BEST USE OF THAT PICTURE I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME
my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot
they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat
so whenever they see my mom
laughed for a solid five minutes
behaviorism gone wrong
Pavlov is laughing in his grave
My favourite Christmas carol is silent night because of the line “holy infant, so tender and mild” because I like to imagine the baby Jesus as a chicken wing
you’re not in the friend zone because you’re too nice, you’re in the friend zone because they’re too nice.
instead of just telling you that you’re an ugly fuck, they went through the trouble of creating some sort of pocket dimension that doesn’t exist to spare your bloated ego even though you most likely don’t deserve that since you’re selfishly trying to get your dick wet under the guise of friendship and kindness anyway.
how do u subtly tell someone to push u against a wall and make out with u???asking for a friend
Dumbledore is sick of your bullshit games Harry